Today my son’s teacher suggested the children might like to do an inspirational excise and create a ‘things to look forward to’ jar. Being keen on any work where the girl can also be involved I dug out the crafty box, found a jar and set them away. Once the jar was ready they started to fill it up with writing and pictures detailing all the things they are looking forward to doing when the nasty virus stuff is all behind us. The sort of things they put in the jar? Well, lets see:-
- Get a dog
- Take the dog for a walk
- Go to the shop to buy the dog new stuff
- Buy a caravan to take the dog camping
- Go and visit Grandpa and see his dog
I started to see a pattern at this point
When the jar was full they asked me what I was looking forward to and after a good long think I still couldn’t tell them something honest. Perhaps lockdown has beaten me, perhaps as an adult I just can’t see past how things currently stand. Perhaps I am just a boring Mum who answers ‘a good night sleep’ when asked what she wants for birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day etc. A bit like when I was little and my Dad would say ‘a bit of peace’. Once the kids had retired to their tablets after an exhausting hour of creativity I started to wonder what I was really looking forward to on the other side of all this crap. The things I would miss, the things I wouldn’t and the things that have changed, possibly, for the better.
Spa Days. I look forward to one again living in hope that this will one day become reality. I also fully understand that I am more likely to come across a unicorn while training for the Great North Run. Nightly conversations with my husband pre-lockdown basically included the regular suggestion that we have a spa day. I would also bring this topic up with anyone at the office who would listen or show the slightest bit of interest. This is something that has been the dream for about seven years. Even knowing full well it will never happen, in lockdown that just feels too final. At least on the other side of all this I can once again look forward to the feeling of living in hope.
Shopping. I have decided that I no longer need to dedicate my ‘non-working days’ (I use this phrase loosely since Mum’s don’t get annual leave) to traipsing around all the cheap shops to stock up on cleaning products, snacks and random crap we don’t need. I have made do for eight plus weeks so far with one basic weekly shop. Even though this alone includes staying up until well past midnight to secure a delivery slot, I am fully willing to make that sacrifice because lets face it, it’s not like I sleep or anything at that time. Lockdown has opened my eyes to the time I dedicate to meeting the demands of each of the people in my house. I will therefore not miss my weekly outings to ensure they all have their favorite brand of minty chocolate, chewy vitamins, butter, pizzas and other crap.
Running. In particular running that involves training for the Great North Run, again this was a kind of loose dream pre-lockdown. At least in lockdown I have a decent excuse for not quite being able to achieve this. When the lockdown is lifted I will have to once again rely on the good old Mum excuse and moan about never having time to do anything.
Work. I like to go to work, it gives me a bit of time to be a grown up, I dress nice (ish) and I eat lunch and talk with other grown ups. Grownups who don’t throw their yogurt at me or mush banana into my clothes and I miss this. During lockdown I have gotten used to not having to get up and out of the house to drop the kids of at their various locations. I have certainly not missed sitting in traffic, fighting for a parking space and finding there is no room in the fridge for my packed lunch. I will miss rolling of of bed and keeping on going until I find the kettle for and endless supply of tea. I will miss hanging around in ‘lazy clothes’, tops and bottoms that don’t match and that definitely don’t look stylish in any way. I will miss the kids, even though I may not have given that impression in previous posts, I promise I will. But most of all, I will miss feeling like we are protected because we are at home.
to school was just to scoop the
kids up and hope for the best
School. That’s a big one isn’t it. I miss the days of school meaning going into a completely different building that isn’t our house and being taught by a real teacher, not me pretending to be one. I miss asking them what they did at school today and I miss the cute way they never remember. I miss sending them to school in a clean uniform on Monday and the feeling I get as I watch them walk towards me in the school yard covered in paint, glue, yogurt and dirt. I want them back in school because I feel like they are missing out on so much being at home everyday. I want them to be able to play with their friends and see their teachers but I also want them safe at home with me. I will miss having them here and feeling that I am protecting them, knowing how many times they are washing their hands and how close their class mates are sitting to them. But I do not under any circumstances miss the school run.
Going out for family days. To say I miss doing this is a bit of a funny one. Pre-lockdown we would visit some favorite spots to go for short walks and visit parks, we would go to museums and events. But the gist of it is that the girl can’t do this too much. She can’t go for a long walk, even at 4 years old she will end up in the buggy gasping for breath, chest heaving. If we take them to play places she will end up poorly, then in hospital requiring oxygen and care. If we go swimming, again, she’ll catch a cold which would destroy her chest. So our family outings have been minimal for the past two years. We got into a rut with the intention of protecting the girl and we are just kind of used to it now. So I don’t really feel like I miss much, in fact, because we aren’t feeling like we have to go out for the day, spend loads of money on admission fees and lunches I think we have actually spent more time just being together. Learning to ride bikes, planting sun flowers, playing in the garden, visiting the allotment. It’s just been nice.
Dinner cooked by Grandma. I miss having a yummy meal made for me by someone other than me. It’s a total bonus when someone else also cleans up the dishes. There is also the plus that at Grandma’s house they are safe and the amount of adults to supervise doubles, meaning I kind of get to relax just a little bit. Plus Granada is an excellent wine top-er-up-er and I really do miss this bit.
Hair straightening. I have not straightened my hair since February and it’s looking pretty good, if I do say so myself. I do not miss sitting for (what feels like) hours trying to tame my wild locks. I am now accepting the fact that I rock the crazy hair lady look and will continue to embrace this post lockdown.
The Joe Jiff workout. The girl loves to do the Joe Jiff workout (this is what she calls Joe Wicks, sorry Joe). I have also learned that Joe’s squats with a baby in arms can be a great bum workout. It will be a sad day when Joe stops making his weird work out You Tube videos. I say weird because sometime I actually don’t really know what’s going on, me and the girl just jump around a lot and I do extra squats until I feel pain. In fact I think I am getting outside of the house more in lockdown than I ever did before. Where I use to sit three days a week on my bum in the office, I am now pounding the pavement and racking up the steps while getting the little one asleep in his buggy. Another thing I’ll miss, a toned bum.
Wearing make up. Thank you Jess Glynne for explaining that its OK not to wear make up on Thursdays. I am now following this though on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Well that was until the neighbor said “it’s you that looks like they need a nap”. I am also now drinking gin from a can on each of these days too. Not sure I want to let this one go.
I think the main thing I am looking forward to is the same as everyone else, when we sum it up, its freedom and choice. We would all like to once again have the luxury to choose whether we go out or stay in. To have the freedom to take the kids the park of for a pizza. To choose whether we go to the beach or to the museum. To choose to visit family and see friends. But the reality is that we will be doing these things with a sort of fear in our hearts.
