Category: Mum

Bad Mum/Real Mum wanna be a rapper Mum

Bad Mum/Real Mum wanna be a rapper Mum

Not saying it’s good but the First Born has gotta give me some credit surely…..dedicated to him, obvs…..


Wanna be a good Mum, not a bad Mum, fuck it, I’m real Mum

Embrace the crazy, my kids are lazy;

Passed out from exhaustion, red wine in the mornin’,

Sleep deprived, must have nine lives;

Another jazzy leggings day, never hit the hay;

Just a cleanin’ and gleanin’, livin’ like I’m dreamin’;

All about the easy peasy, feelin’ kinda breazy, lasagna like my attitude, both be all too cheesy;

Always in the wrong, keep going like I’m strong;

Never in the right, be up half the night;

Drivin’ up the wall, or on the school run haul;

I’m shouty and I’m doubty, kids are full on pouty;

The defeated, incompleted, live it and repeat-it;

I’m a Mum, I’ve grown a bum and a tum;

I come in peace, wear a fleese, mental stability decrease;

I’m a Mum, calm or a drunk, live on junk, in a funk or maybe a flunk?

Oh…what’s the blinkin’ difference, Mum!

Dressed in black, it’s a knack, provider of a thousand snacks.

Mum;

Feeling crazy, here’s a daisy, today I wish to just be lazy;

Good Mum, Bad Mum, just happy to be your Mum.

The shit they don’t tell you (part one)…

When you have babies everyone tells you to make the most of the now before that sweet little bundle of joy arrives. Make the most of the sleep filled nights, get that last bit of […]

Des-per-(don’t mind if I)-dos

“oh, Desperados, Desperados, Desperados, Desperados!”. To be sung in a (badly) drunken Italian accent over the Christmas period when consuming far too many of the tequila flavoured fountain of life (a life with three kids […]