shake the baby off
Even though I am a self -confessed anti-social who generally avoids talking to real life people I do miss elements of my life pre-isolation. For example, routine, I miss actually going into the office, having a hot cup of tea, a wee with the door closed and eating lunch without having to clean the floor with a full packet of wipes afterwards.
At the moment, in addition to my own working from home, I am also homeschooling the first born, solo cleaning the house after 5 people, creating nutritional family meals on a daily basis from absolutely fucking nothing since the shopping website is constantly down and when it’s up everything is ‘out of stock’. I am not even trying to buy toilet roll yet.
I am also instructor of fitness (which is a joke really considering), but I take my roll seriously and ensure we get our one allocated slot of outside based exercise a day. I am entertainer of the the girl, who is completely deprived of attention and is basically being raised by the entire cast of PJ Masks and cartoon Mr Bean. I am also ‘baby whisperer’ forcing the little one to take appropriate naps during the day and occasionally glancing at him to make sure he isn’t trying to swallow the marbles. The ones I lost last week that is. In doing all this I should also be able to make adult telephone calls with client’s while trying desperately not to let them hear my ranty whisper shouting at the kids to “be quiet, I’m on the phone” while the little one tries to crawl onto my head.